[dylan604]

Then learn how to respond to questions that are being asked out of politeness and bonding vs some fellow techie that actually is interested in gobbledygook detailed answers. You can talk about work and why it was cool/fun/horrible/frustrating to non-techies and still bond with them in your commiseration of being laid off.

[tysam_and]

I mean, again, that's not really the point that I was making. I'm talking about the foundational emotional need of connection, not everyone connects well in that manner, the quality of the response to the question doesn't always have a huge bearing on that.

Like, sure, sometimes it is good bonding, and sometimes it's not, it's very much context dependent.

If having the emotional security of not being in the hotseat answering questions from family members is necessary for an amount of emotional security on the OP's part, then I would consider that to be a good strategy. It might not be what you would do in that scenario, which is okay, as you and OP are different and might have different methods of addressing and meeting your respective emotional needs.

[logicprog]

Yeah not having to be in the hot seat is crucial. Stuff like FAQs for personal things are helpful not just because they deduplicate effort, so people can just read it and grok your deal and then bond with you without excruciating rote ramp up, but also because it's emotionally exhausting to have to go through explanations about personal things, especially often, whereas pointing people to an FAQ alleviates that and actually makes further bonding possible bc you won't be harried and tired.

[tharkun__]

This is so typical of normies.

Why does the techie have to go out of his way and adjust to the non techie normie?

Why don't they drink their own cool aid and adjust to the techie?

We don't like all these personal questions. Just leave us alone instead of asking the same thing over and over. If we point you to an FAQ, be like "oh yeah awesome, thank you" instead keeping on asking if we are alright. Just shut up and read the FAQ.

[dylan604]

yes, why doesn't the rest of the world conform to me? that old trope? we're all individuals. in every relationship, there are gives/takes. sometimes you have to do normie things. i have relationships with true addicts that play this normie won't understand card waaaay too often for me to be swayed by it. sometimes, the mountain won't come to Muhammad.

[tharkun__]

See that's the thing. Yes we all are individuals. This individual in the original post is one.

Who are these commenter's that demand for him not to post an FAQ? Why can't he just post an FAQ and they are like "oh yeah thank you very much!" and everyone is happy? Why does he have to feel bad for his FAQ and instead answer the same uncomfortable questions over and over even though he's fine but nobody believes him?

Why do these normies demand that the world adjusts to them?

[dgfitz]

What the actual fuck is a normie?

[tharkun__]

    WHAT IS A NORMIE?

    Normie is a slang for a “normal person,” especially someone seen to have conventional, mainstream tastes, interests, viewpoints, etc. It is intended as an insult but often used ironically.
    Normie is also sometimes used by specific in-groups to refer and distinguish themselves from specific out-groups.

In case it wasn't clear from me using normie vs techie in the actual comment. I'm talking about a guy like the one that posted the FAQ (techie) that is different from most "socially normal" people (normie) that would actually appreciate all these questions over and over and take comfort in them. Well he doesn't apparently. Deal with it.

[dylan604]

typically, someone that's not an addict. someone that can cope in life without the assistance of a drug/alcohol. i guess we're stretching that definition to someone with social anxieties?

[temporarara]

Normies live for drugs and alcohol and social interactions while the non-normies live for train simulators, coexistence is an eternal struggle.

[dylan604]

No, addicts live for drugs and alcohol. Normies do not live their lives with the sole purpose of their next fix.

[temporarara]

I'm always happy to give the standard "I don't like to discuss work stuff when I don't get paid for it, it's not that interesting really" answer. Sometimes followed with "I work now for company X and I write code that deals with Y" to not be seen as insufferable asshole.