[1shooner]

>It's unlikely for your partner to be your top choice. It's just a statistical given... But you can never reveal that.

Another possibility is to have a shared understanding of your relationship that isn't based on this deception/omission/pretense. I'd say that's the norm in stable long-term relationships, from those that I know.

[corethree]

You know of couples who talk about how their partners aren't their first choice openly or how they think other people are more attractive? If it exists it's incredibly rare.