[Jaja_what_else]

I do not want to write about the topic, although it is a deep field. There is something else that makes me write this comment:

There is nobody out there being an expert in his/her field without having also personal interrest. Yet - you say while you had this kind of drive which is key to be one of the best, all you got is luck. I dont think so. You describe the last 5 years as being without any success or fulfillment. This is absolutly impossible over such a long time. Nowadays, you say it is of no fun to you anymore to have this "hobby".

Well, you know which kind of people sound like this? Since i am not an expert, don't get me wrong - but to me it is textbook like depression. Please think about checking it with a pro.. best case is i am wrong.