[kstenerud]

The answer is to learn to read the signals people give off when they're interested. The "more aggressive" men just aren't reading the signals. So they ask and get shot down. And they get a lower quality of relationship in the rare cases of success since they're merely playing the odds.

Get to know someone before asking them out. Find out what they're like. Know what you're like, and what kinds of people you're compatible with. Your 20s and in some cases even 30s are your opportunity to learn.

Just blindly asking someone out is lazy and rude.