[blamestross]

I have multiple chronic pain and health issues that can make extended social situations hard for me. Often it sneaks up on me.

"low social battery"/"spoons" doesn't mean you should avoid them or try and fix anything. What you should do is take it as a signal to not take offense and be patient if they need to leave suddenly, get distracted, or have difficulty. You can be welcoming while still making them some space to be tired or in pain.

My experience is that people who are lacking "social skills" aren't actually lacking social skills, they are lacking "social instincts". For people who have them, those social instincts work great 80% of the time, and most people just let them fail 20% of the time instead of applying critical thought to the situation (taking offense where none is meant or just miscommunicating).

Bluntly put, this tool is likely not meant for your consumption and your "lack of social skills" probably makes it much less necessary. You have to use critical thought every time you are in social interaction, so a reminder to do so is just signal noise to you.

[anileated]

Took a while to get it but I can see your final point. Still must note that it makes applying critical thought harder and can lead to opposite results. I guess it would work with people with whom it is established beforehand what the battery is supposed to mean.

The first point, thanks for the insight. Depending on the type of pain it can be the opposite for me, sometimes I find it easier to distract myself from it by talking to others. I am normally not inclined to talk IRL, but being badly ill and weak turns me into a more pleasant person apparently.

[blamestross]

Totally the same on distracting myself from pain by talking to others pattern! It is a big part of why I put myself in social situations despite being in pain.

At the end of the day, it is all crappy 1st order approximations of ideal behavior. That is the best humans can do. So we should try and make sure the "error" on those gets spread around/rotated in time rather than consistently excluding anybody.