[jmac01]

Is it culturally English speaking to think this just sounds like social anxiety rather than an expected norm? If someone thought they were superior than me and expected a particular greeting or whatever, I'd tell them where to shove it lol

We are all equal.

[yongjik]

If you take a complicated social issue and reduce it until it becomes a one-dimensional question, of course it sounds stupid.

Imagine a foreigner learning English and asking "Why do I have to care if people are male or female? What a sexist language! Nobody cares about genitals in my culture!" And they start to refer to everybody as "he", regardless of, well, genitals.

They won't come across as more enlightened, transcending the shackles of sexist English grammar.

They will simply sound like a poor English speaker.

[McBeige]

It's besides the point, but a slight correction: you wouldn't assume someone's preferred pronouns from details about their genitals (it'd be offensive to ask or try to check!), but from how they present them self - through gendered appearance or perhaps by just stating it.

[lupusreal]

If I assumed any woman wearing pants and a tshirt wants to be called a man, I'd offend them more often than not. Guessing somebody is transgender because they aren't conforming to gendered fashion conventions is an extremely bad idea.

[kemayo]

The parent wasn't just talking about the top-level of their clothes, though, but about overall presentation. There's generally a lot more cultural signifiers embedded that you can cue off of than just "pants or skirt?" after all. Haircuts (highly gendered even at similar lengths), subtleties of makeup and jewelry, the cut of the aforementioned t-shirt and pants, body language, etc. (And there's still room to get it wrong, of course. But fortunately people who're living in the gray areas are generally aware they're doing so.)

Explaining all the details of how to distinguish e.g. a butch lesbian from a trans man to someone from a different cultural tradition is, of course, an incredible pain.

[lupusreal]

I've known plenty of women with male or gender neutral clothing, "boy cut" hair and no interest in jewelry. They weren't men. Assuming that a woman is transgender because she isn't "girly" is idiotic.

The number of people, particularly women, who don't adhere to gendered fashion greatly exceeds the number of transgender people.

[willsmith72]

In english workplaces there's still a "heirarchy" it's just not expressed with that one specific word.

If you'd phrase an email differently to a high-level exec vs your coworker, you've experienced it. Same with dressing differently to meet a new client vs an old friendly one. Both cases where you'd probably use the formal and informal depending on who you're talking to.

[vidarh]

I remember the first time I was referred to as "sir" after moving to the UK from Norway.

In Norway it's now rare to come across the equivalent "Herr" other than as an insult (implying you're stuck up), outside of very limited cases, such as instead of "Mr", but that use too is in steep decline.

English is full of ways to express implied hierarchy through different wording / tone without the T-V distinction.

[samus]

Good for you if you live in a culture without strong T-V distinction. Not using the correct form of address will make you need perceived as impolite in the best case or highly disrespectful and confrontational in the worst case, and you will land on their sh*t list. This can be dangerous if you have to interact with police!

PS: even in English, you're probably not using as many F-bombs and S-bombs when you talk to powerful people.

[xyzzyz]

Using polite/formal grammar form is just something that comes completely naturally to native speakers, who practiced it their whole lives, in particular the entire childhood while speaking to adults. It does not put you in a position of inferiority or submission, people will still have nasty arguments or explicitly insult each other while maintaining formal grammar form.

[ozim]

Yeah until you have mortgage to pay, kids and asshole on receiving end can influence your job security then it quickly turns out who is „more equal”.

[throwaway2037]

What is your native language and home country? Would your view change if you spent some time in a language/culture where this is normal (Korea/Japan)?

[Longhanks]

This is very ignorant towards many cultures and such behavior would be actively harming your career in most places I've got to know. You're lucky to be in a place where your lack of empathy towards local etiquette does not result in more peer pressure, for better or for worse.

We are not equal.

[the_omegist]

No idea why you are being downvoted. I think people in some circles and some places hold strongly to their newly crafted dogmas.

No one is equal to no one. I do not see how this can be taken badly at all : absence of equality does not equate to lack of intrinsic merit.

As to the main topic : I think some degree of deference to some people, represented by some specific words, is a good thing, as long as it does not fall into some Byzantine rules that make communication less efficient.

[tonfa]

Good luck trying that with cops in France (who condescendingly will "tu" you while expecting "vous" in return)