[aifooh7Keew6xoo]

And then you'd still probably die of starvation or some variation of malnutrition, for lack of the physical capacity to consume the 17 lbs of bamboo a day necessary to sustain 2000 kcal intake.

I'm not even entirely sure that the act of consuming it yields more calories from consumption than consumed in exertion for humans.

Most species that subsist on bamboo are sedentary and spend significant fractions of their time and energy simply masticating.

[stephenr]

I guess I should have been clearer; I didn't exactly intend eating it alone.

There's more than enough calories to sustain life in a Thai green curry with bamboo in it ;-)

[jimmaswell]

Couldn't you condense the calories somehow, like making a broth and straining?

[aifooh7Keew6xoo]

I imagine it's going to involve a pulverization or grinding step to increase surface area and availability of whatever has caloric value in the plant matter (the equivalent biological processes all seem to), but I'm sure with the appropriate process you could make a soylent bamboo paste or something yeah.