[munksbeer]

Unfortunately it is the opposite for me. My children are five and two and these have been the worst years of my life. I never knew unhappiness like this before. I've had depression since a few months after the birth of our first child. He has adhd and autism and has been extremely challenging. I should have known better, as a childhood adhd sufferer (on medication for most of school age), known that I probably wasn't a good fit to be a parent.

I have realised too late that my coping mechanism for dealing with the complexities of the world is retreating to a safe space when I need to. That usually involves getting away from everyone and playing a computer game for a few hours, or going for a long hike, or just driving somewhere to be by myself. And it needs to be frequent.

I cannot do that any longer. Our kids are so challenging that leaving one partner to cope by themselves is too hard. I never get to escape and I find it bordering on impossible to deal with the world. I have been suicidal at times. I'm on medication for it.

[nullindividual]

> That usually involves getting away from everyone and playing a computer game for a few hours, or going for a long hike, or just driving somewhere to be by myself. And it needs to be frequent.

I could write out this exact same sentence. You're not alone with your overall experience.

[AnimalMuppet]

I needed that "time out", too. Weekly.

But your spouse/partner may also need to be able to get away. (My wife did, though not as often as me.) Maybe you could tag-team breaks for each other?

[munksbeer]

For me, it needs to be more than weekly. I seem to build up a debt of "something" which seems to be resolved by doing something I love. Mostly this had been walking, surfing, hiking, reading, gaming, rugby, and so on. And now it is impossible to get time for that. Once a week we each get to do something for ourselves, but only for a few hours. Looking after the two children alone is tough for either of us, so we don't leave the other person alone with them for too long.

It seems to have impacted me far worse though, for whatever reason. I never knew what depression actually was before I had children.