I suggest you try the assistant features on a Pixel 8 Pro. They have all the features you mentioned (except the creepy eavesdropping golf one) and the interaction is miles ahead, especially the text to speech.
I do not have any Android products, I only use Google Assistant through my Sonos speakers. Do you know if that code is different from that on the Pixel? (Because my experience of Google Assistant is long from good/useful, it struggles with basic tasks, I have to overpronounce to be sure it can differentiate “lights on” from “lights off”, etc etc.)
I don't know, because I haven't used Sonos for this purpose. But it's easy to imagine that a mobile handset with an array of microphones that you tend to hold near yourself would be more suited at the hardware level.