[SpaceDragon]

I'm as ignorant as can be about transgender-ism and even homosexuality, but I wanted to reach out to say it makes me sad that someone would want to physically hurt you because of your gender reorientation.

But more on point with the post, I perceive you have three problems:

1) You don't have a simple, punchy business idea that can make a lot of money

2) The writing comes off as a bit outlandish and loquacious in this business setting. Sorry. Cut your prose down and stick with the cold facts.[1]

3) I said I had three? I lied. Yes, that's my third point: never lie.

Seriously though, I hope you address the first two issues and arrive at something you can be successful with.

[1] Then again, what do I know.