[nerdawson]

> They are factual, direct, and speak their mind from their perspective with no regards to your feelings.

Passive-aggressiveness is the opposite of being direct.

I'm fully in support of being factual, direct, and speaking one's mind.

Pei was arrogant, condescending, and behaved in a cowardly manner.

[User3456335]

In my opinion, it's the manager that is being arrogant, condescending and behaving in a cowardly manner.

Arrogant: shows no respect for the senior programmer's knowledge of the system

Condescending: saying things like "Fantastic!" and not allowing Pei to speak up

Behaving in a cowardly manner: instead of being open to switching to Kubernetes if that is the better option, he acts like he will have no discussion on the topic and that his opinion should be respected no matter the truth.

[nerdawson]

> How well do you know Ruby On Rails? There is a kind of Zen to Ruby. Some people get it and some people don't. Let's plan at some point some practice sessions to make sure you are up to speed. If you plan major architectural achievements that require us to work together, you'll find Rails will be a good playground for that. I'll make sure your skills are current and you are able to work in Rails.

The programmer starts this message by challenging the consultant’s expertise.

They go on to cast themselves as the superior, there to evaluate the consultant’s performance.

It’s a bizarre exchange demonstrating the programmer’s arrogance.

—-

The first message from the consultant was about welcoming ideas so I do think the way he dismissed Kubernetes was wrong.

The reasoning against is sensible but it’s only revealed after pushback on the initial shutdown.

He also shows himself to be out of touch with the comments on how Pei could have earned that money himself. Once a company has assessed your value to them, it’s heavily anchored and difficult to move.

[jchonphoenix]

The message is arrogant but it seems very direct to me. He directly asks if you know what you're talking about. And assumes you don't, offering a way to help.

This is blunt and uncaring, but is in no way passive aggressive. The engineer probably didn't even mean to be aggressive. I read this as he fully believes the consultant has no idea what he's talking about.