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by corethree
931 days ago
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Women aren't obligated to do the work you describe. They often do but they don't need to do it. The man needs to fill his gender role fully by raw obligation. It is not a choice. It's a biological requirement expressed by women in mating preferences. It's a strong preference and pretty much Universal behavior among women. Men impose no such requirement on women. So what you will see is that whether women do what you say or not varies widely. I lived in a family where my mother didn't plan anything and she wasn't diligent about making sure everything was smooth. She was chill about everything. Didn't mean our family was dysfunctional. That's just her, and she could be this way because my dad didn't care. But if my dad wanted to become a house husband? The marriage is over if that choice is ever made. Either way. The split should be made by proof of work. Not hypothetical anecdotes from either of us. Historical Income is the only raw evidence of it. And I'd go further to say. If a woman doesn't demand equal responsibility then she doesn't deserve equal rights. That goes for men too. Unfortunately male dating preferences are rather lax, but that's another story about another problem. |
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We’re also in complicated times because social norms aren’t as dependable as they were, once. Family structures are changing. Roles are changing for many people. My kids experience around the home is already far different from mine, and I believe it’s the case for most of their friends as well. Family structure in 20 years could be significantly different from what it was 20 years ago. The need to evaluate case-by-case will probably only increase.
Your point about equal responsibility and equal rights is a good one. I suppose my position is that a lot of hidden labour can be responsibility, and it can often be important and overlooked. Yet, it’s not as though men never share in this, or that being a primary provider doesn’t come with its own hidden labours. For example, the insane amount of learning required to stay competitive and relevant in my role - we’d very likely have a smaller income if I didn’t fit this in and move my career forward. It’s all very complicated, nuanced stuff.
At the end of the day though, I agree. If someone isn’t actively pursuing equal responsibility for themselves and their partner, they’re likely not equally entitled.