For some of the reasons you give, I prefer Owncloud over Nextcloud. Owncloud is less bloated.
I recently set up Joplin notes to sync with Owncloud using WebDAV following instructions on Owncloud's blog [0], it was easy and works well.
I haven't set up contacts and calendars yet, but would like to, eventually. It looks like it can be done with CardDAV and CalDAV [1].
[0]: https://owncloud.com/news/how-to-sync-notes-with-owncloud-an...
[1]: https://blog.evomailserver.com/how-to-sync-owncloud-10-conta...