[helen___keller]

As a “woke SJW” I don’t think we’re on the same page for what it means to be “critical of the idea of a beauty standard”.

For example, to me being critical of a beauty standard is rejecting the following statement:

“All else equal, a person with double eyelids is more attractive than a person with single eyelids”

Widespread acceptance of the above statement culturally is an example of a beauty standard, and it’s the reason why eyelid surgery is the third most common cosmetic surgery in the world.

Rejecting this beauty standard does not mean I need to be attracted to every person with a mono eyelid nor have a partner with a mono eyelid.

[leidenfrost]

> Rejecting this beauty standard does not mean I need to be attracted to every person with a mono eyelid nor have a partner with a mono eyelid.

You don't need to be attracted to _every_ person with single eyelids, unless you're attracted to every person with double ones. It's about treating both groups with the same standard.

And it also comes down to dating. If you don't try to incorporate your belief system into your own life, are you really rejecting it?

I see this all the time: I have fat friends, whose friends are all in for fat acceptance, yet when it comes to their own life, they avoid getting fat like the plague. They avoid being fat, their partners are almost never fat, and they share memes where the subject of ridicule is a fat person (not for being fat, but some other despicable attribute. But in the joke, they're always fat. Never athletic nor muscular).

Of course, it's not a 100% rule. We are all free to do whatever makes us most happy and nobody is obliged at gunpoint to do a radical shift overnight.

But If anyone subscribes to a core belief, it's expected to turn that belief into concrete actions in their life. Otherwise everything ends up being "web activism", and when you close the browser and go to the real world, everything stays the same.

[helen___keller]

Right, I largely agree with everything you’re writing. If you see an otherwise attractive guy and then he stands up and you realize he’s under 6’ and you are instantly turned off, you should examine your own preconceptions of beauty and reflect why you have such a toxic standard on height.

And so on for everything else.

I don’t even bring up weight because if you talk about being fat on the internet you get the “but you can change it” and “it’s for your own health” flame wars, and I don’t want the broader topic derailed.

GP made it sound like “I see SJWs with attractive partners, why are they such hypocrites” and while I’m sure there are hypocrites it’s also not the responsibility of any person to pick a partner that affirms their belief system. And certainly not for the sake of broadcasting this to internet commenters who want to feel confirmation bias about their views on “woke”

[handy2000]

Your example is overly focused on a small detail. I think what the parent commenter means, is that it's fairly uncommon to see highly attractive women who subscribe to the idea of "everyone is beautiful" date conventionally unattractive men.

[helen___keller]

“Conventionally (un)attractive” aren’t well defined, but usually mean someone at the intersection of several/many beauty standards. Thin, busty, blond. Tall, dark, handsome. Pale, smooth skin, double eyelids. I just used one example for my post but the concept applies broadly.

[leidenfrost]

And the same applies to attractive men with unattractive women. It's not necessarily a women vs men issue.