First, he says "marriage is a milestone", and makes it seems like it's the top milestone since he mentions it first. OK, that's fine and dandy but has serious demoralizing consequences for the single dude who has tough luck finding love. Never ever say marriage is a milestone to single people.
Second, I agree with you. Loving someone when they don't love back makes no sense. It's something you can't control, so putting so much focus on love makes no sense. And if he's talking about love in terms of friendships, he's very naive. In this world, people will reciprocate attention if you give them 1 of 2 things: money or orgasms (or babies). I've tried to be good friends with people, and they'll easily forget you because you are insignificant to them.
In my experience, you can't really try to be good friends with someone - like with love, it's more about finding this special person (or a couple of them if you're lucky) with which the friendship seems effortless and just works naturally for both of you.
My advice is - in spite of previous dissapointments, you shouldn't give up on people, but keep on looking for this "natural" match. IMO, for most people, having a true friend [1] introduces more happiness than any professional/financial success, so it's definitely something worth pursuing.
[1] Bonus points if that true friend is also your spouse.
That is a very tough question. I think there could probably have been space for expansion on that particular thought. It seems… Odd for someone to say that when they are happily married. Perhaps he is using the broader definition of love that includes love of friends. Still, he does use the singular: find someone to love.
Yeah, this part's got me a little confused, too, not gonna lie :p
I think he's just saying don't love because you need the reciprocation of love, love because you love the other person for whom they are. It's hard, but that should be decoupled from whether or not they love you, if you are honest with yourself.
First, he says "marriage is a milestone", and makes it seems like it's the top milestone since he mentions it first. OK, that's fine and dandy but has serious demoralizing consequences for the single dude who has tough luck finding love. Never ever say marriage is a milestone to single people.
Second, I agree with you. Loving someone when they don't love back makes no sense. It's something you can't control, so putting so much focus on love makes no sense. And if he's talking about love in terms of friendships, he's very naive. In this world, people will reciprocate attention if you give them 1 of 2 things: money or orgasms (or babies). I've tried to be good friends with people, and they'll easily forget you because you are insignificant to them.