[renewiltord]

That's interesting. My friends run startups (a couple of billion-dollar valued ones) and to be honest, those with wives and families seem to find it easier to do. Personally, having married, I find that this is a massive boost to my personal ability.

Not only was the optionality I previously had a curse, but staying on task is much easier with a partner looking out for me, and for my part I find it easier to make good decisions when I'm thinking about this team of us over myself.

Plus there's just the fact that marrying another high-earner means you have a more stable income when the streams are diversified.

Of course every person is different and perhaps you perform better single, but my experience and what I observe of my friends is different here in our 30s.

[jbverschoor]

Totally depends on the partner.

Good partner -> better chance of a good outcome.

Bad partner -> good luck with staying sane from being surrounded in stress 24/7

[xwdv]

As an investor, if a founder's partner is considered "bad" or toxic, they will reject investing in them, as it will likely mean the startup will suffer as a result of personal relationship issues. This decreases chances of success.

[jbverschoor]

5 more karma and you can retire ;-)

[xwdv]

Not sure I’ll make it. Usually a flurry of downvotes come in and drags me back.

[jbverschoor]

lol gotta love HN

[slackfan]

Married startup founder in his 30s here.

Wife actually had her own startup for a good bit in a non-technical field, she wound that down a few years ago, now she's doing the stay with the kids thing, while I'm working to bootstrap a company.

The big thing that helps is not overlapping, while simultaneously being understanding. My wife has been my biggest source of mental stability on this crazy journey. She's my editor-in-chief, and I run my harebrain ideas past her. When I set out doing this we talked for a long time as to what the exit and breaking points are.

Startups require a certain amount of personal pride, but too many founders make the startup their entire identity, which the article exemplifies beautifully. There are too many people that treat the founder title as a status symbol. And from the article, that seems to be the case for both the subject of the article, and the author.

For me, the simple reality is if my shop can't bring in a paycheck by X date to support the family, it doesn't matter how well the startup is going, I need to go out and get a job. If that means I have to go sling contract code, or get a corporate gig, or go down to the nearest city and tend bar on the weekends, then so be it. The only way to truly fail at this game is to not play.

[renewiltord]

I think you've described exactly what I intended to express.

[NickC25]

> My friends run startups (a couple of billion-dollar valued ones) and to be honest, those with wives and families seem to find it easier to do.

Don't you think this is somewhat of an outlier?

I mean, most startups will fail. 99.9% will never be valued at a billion or more. If you're running a company you founded and it's worth over a billion, yeah, I'm sure the wife or family is just fine. Those (or that) friend(s) probably have enough equity to make it worth their while, and a wife sticking around because hubby is going to exit in a year or two with a few hundred million in liquid cash is a safe bet. It's a lot harder if your partner is running a startup that probably won't make it.

[renewiltord]

I am not. But almost every startup runs the precipice before it makes it. Very few are up and to the right. So there are always tough moments. And among those who are having the tough moments now that I know, a supportive partner is a huge benefit in that moment.

[slap_shot]

Using founders of $1B+ companies is absolutely using outliers and is evaluating survivorship bias.

As it relates to this article, a $1B+ company generally has product market fit and the founder has taken $10M+ off the table, which is more than they would have made in a regular job over a ~10 year period. The authors concerns don't apply in that situation.

[renewiltord]

I'm not using "founders of $1B+ companies" as my set. I'm using "founders who are my friends" as the set and it happens to include a couple of $1b+ companies but the majority are not (yet!).