[boopmaster]

The choice of phrasing in your post highlight a considerable growth opportunity, for yourself, in working toward having stronger emotional intelligence.

It is Movember. Maybe use it as an excuse to open up in a conversation with your colleague on men's mental health issues and how stigmas around neurodivergence are unfair? Maybe you can grow mustaches together and raise awareness for a good cause. I'm saying that it sounds like your first step here is to have some empathy and try connecting on a personal level.

A developer with autism may turn out to be an astounding asset. If you are managing this person, then it is up to you to find what motivates and produces the best work from them.

Welcome to management.

HTH