[Thomashuet]

I have an even cheaper solution: just don't buy a ring.

It all depends on what your partner wants obviously. If it's important for your partner to get a diamond ring and you value your partnership more than the cost of a diamond, then buy a diamond. If your partner wants a "I'm married" sign (as my wife did), just buy a simple wedding ring without a stone. If it's not that important for her, don't buy a ring.

[shiroiuma]

This of course is true and makes sense, but you could also say the same thing about eating dinner in a restaurant: you could save money by skipping a meal, or by getting a frozen meal at the supermarket. A restaurant meal at a decent restaurant isn't that expensive (though it is pretty bad in the US these days; other countries are much better).

A ring doesn't have to be expensive: you can get a nice titanium ring for under $100. And unlike some other rings, it has some major benefits: 1) it's super-lightweight, so you can barely feel it (gold is heavy), 2) it's hypo-allergenic, in case you might have a sensitivity to anything in other rings, and best of all, 3) if you're stuck in an undersea oil rig that's flooding and one of the automatic flood doors is closing and about to trap you inside, you can stick your hand with the ring in the door and prevent it from closing, so you can escape.

[dbrgn]

The decent restaurant is a good example: For the price of a 9000$ diamond ring, you can eat a fancy dinner at a 300$ restaurant every year for the next 30 years of your marriage. And the money is probably spent much better that way. You'll build up memories of shared experiences.

[Semaphor]

For her engagement ring, we got a ring with some kinds of slightly bigger green stones (don’t ask me) on Etsy for maybe 100€, for the wedding bands we went with titanium, 3 small colorless stones (again, don’t ask me which) for her, no stones for me, that came in at slightly over $100 for both. Can recommend titanium.

[marssaxman]

If you are like me and actually prefer the substantial feeling of a heavy ring, you can get a nice tungsten ring for under $100, too!

[trogdor]

I have a three inch tungsten cube. It’s the best thing I have ever wasted money on.

[GTP]

Number 3 seems a good idea for a 007 movie :D

[mrec]

I think GP was referring to that exact thing happening in The Abyss.

[shiroiuma]

I forgot to add the reason why there's a moral imperative to wearing a titanium ring instead of a diamond one: after saving yourself from drowning with the titanium ring, you can then descend to the ocean floor in an experimental diving suit, disarm a nuclear bomb dropped there by some nutcase that threatens a bunch of ocean-dwelling aliens, and impress them with your intended sacrifice (since your suit only has enough oxygen for a one-way trip) that they decide not to wipe out much of humanity with simultaneous tsunamis.

[mrec]

Oh, I know. If I had a dollar for every time that's happened to me, I'd have $3, but it's weird that it happened thrice.

[1letterunixname]

Madison Avenue created a cultural Hobson choice ritual that equated the size and value of a particular precious stone with the dominant partner's love and economic suitability for marriage. The pressures on Western individuals to follow this script varies, but is still significant.

Another interesting approach is to reframe it as a Hobson choice with opportunity cost: Would you prefer a modest ring that's exciting for all of a week and is easy to lose, or a lifetime of memories of 3 weeks on a languid, secluded tropical island with surreal, warm white sand and ocean-to-plate candlelight dinners?

[globular-toast]

Even better: just don't get married.

Very few advantages, if any, for most people (only big exception I'm aware of is for citizenship status).

[Semaphor]

> Very few advantages, if any, for most people (only big exception I'm aware of is for citizenship status).

Residency as well, not just citizenship. Other benefits (here in Germany) include: Better adoption rights, no visiting issues when your SO is suddenly in the hospital, tax benefits, and a bunch of other small benefits that you have a decent chance of encountering in your life.

While we mainly got married for her residency, it’s worthwhile to get married for a multitude of reasons. My sister and her husband also decided to get married for the 2nd child, as they also encountered issues being unmarried.

[Aerbil313]

People want to be bonded, formally, officially. Marriage is not some artificial thing, it’s baked into human nature.

[saiya-jin]

Its actually a good indicator of a character. Not everybody fits you or me, or even can actually sustain long term cca happy relationship. You want an expensive ring? Why? Just because herd mentality obviously isn't good enough response when drawbacks are numerous and often pretty sinister.

When I was still in the dating game, I wasn't one of the desperate ones who needed to f*k desperately at all costs. Rather I was every single time looking for potentially working relationship, so evaluating compatibility and if I found obvious or already-known showstopper I finished it quickly. But how do you evaluate that when initially people automatically wear layers of politeness masks? Some of them even after years.

Well just wait for first conflict and misunderstanding to happen, and how the other side reacts when emotions are high. Masks are off, raw personality comes forward in bad situation. You just have to be realistic and also think how it would look like if tables turned.

Or don't, but I prefer to at least try to bring some smart into this highly emotional game, I mean divorce rates hanging uncomfortably around 50% come from something (my wife doesn't have any natural bloody diamond on her ring, we talked about it like mature people beforehand and both agreed we won't go that way)..