[jonkho]

The reality is the person with lower leverage in the relationship does the keeping of the one with higher leverage happy. In marriages men have the lower leverage due to various reasons. One of which is favorable treatment of women in the family courts.

[c0pium]

If you’re thinking about marriage in terms of leverage you’ve guaranteed you’re going to find out about those courts.

[lelanthran]

> If you’re thinking about marriage in terms of leverage you’ve guaranteed you’re going to find out about those courts.

The reality is that in every relationship (whether marriage, business, friend, sibling, whatever) one person will have more leverage than the other.

That's not the problem. The problem is when the party with the leverage uses it! The phrase "happy wife, happy life" is problematic because it normalises the usage of this leverage.

(And if you think women have all the leverage in the average relationship, just wait till you get to over 45 and the kids are all old enough).

[jonkho]

> (And if you think women have all the leverage in the average relationship, just wait till you get to over 45 and the kids are all old enough).

“It’s cheaper to keep her” is also a saying. So it looks like she still has the leverage.

[zlg_codes]

Given that marriage is a business decision, it's absolutely important to be aware of the positions you could possibly end up in, and which situations each of you has society's favor in should a conflict arise. (hint: men are disfavored in family court by default) It's not always happier ever after.

We should not normalize people making rash decisions and chaining themselves to someone to fulfill cultural fantasies about romance. Don't marry someone you're not willing to walk to the grave with.

[imtringued]

I don't know anyone with a marriage that didn't go to "those courts".

[oblio]

You need a better entourage.

[peddling-brink]

If your wife is using that as leverage over you, your marriage is already done for.

[jonkho]

At 50% rate, it’s not a tail risk! Not to mention the men that “stay in it. Cuz cheaper to keep her”!