[throwaway914]

I agree. You don't dispense vitriol, but people are way more willing to follow instructions from a perceived leader than we tend to believe. It's not worth splitting hairs to finaggle every word to sound delicate and kind. If you assume authority, and you aren't outright malevolent, you can usually tell someone:

I need you to take out the trash.

[xepriot]

You have to (nonverbally; perhaps with your whole personality) get them to understand and agree that it is good for them to take out the trash, and to trust your intentions, and that your leadership generally is also good and worthy of trust