> My personal favorite, combo of 2 listed, would he "I need X to happen"
I had a boss who spoke like this: He was too afraid to communicate directly, so everything was implied.
Instead of saying "I'm assigning X task to you" we'd have to play a game where he'd say "X is really important and it needs to be done". Then you had to ask 20 questions to extract the actual ask from him:
"Okay great, should I do it"
"If you want, that would be great"
"Cool, I can do it. Is it the highest priority or can it wait?"
"Well it's very important, but I don't want to interfere with your other work."
"I'm working on task A with tasks B and C next in the queue. Where should I prioritize it?"
"Well it's very important. The stakeholders want it done soon."
"Okay, how soon? Is there a deadline?"
"I don't like to put deadlines on people, but they're very adamant that it gets done soon. It would be good if it was done soon"
And so on, until I had spent 15 minutes extracting enough clues about what he wanted. He thought he was being extra nice by never giving anything resembling an order, but it just created confusion for everyone and disappointment when we didn't perfectly read his mind.
Sounds like they didn’t exactly know how to prioritize a task relative to other tasks. Which could be lack of clarity or being pulled in different directions by 3 different project managers/product owners/dotted lines etc or lastly their own manager would be adding 5 new high priority tasks a day
Anyone at the end of the days it’s literally their role to handle the dysfunction and/or understand the products
Subjective it must be, if my boss talked like that it would give me flashbacks to entitled customers I had working in food service.
Edit: to expand, the “I need” language has an implicit imperative. Since it is implicit, the listener/employee needs to internalize the command, and internalize the idea that the bosses “needs” are the employees “wants”. Maybe I’m psychologizing too much, but I haven’t ever met someone who talked like that who I could get along with. A baby cries when it needs something, mommy responds. As adults we should handle our own needs by turning them into actions to fulfill them ourselves or requests to have others fulfill them.
I'd feel the same way if I heard it in food service. Corporate motherfucker who doesn't actually work.
If I hear it in the context of both a knowledge job and a high-trust relationship it works way better for me, here is the problem and we need it solved.
>> entitled customers I had working in food service.
> I'd feel the same way if I heard it in food service. Corporate motherfucker who doesn't actually work.
Hang on, to you, "We need some paper towels at this table" equals "Corporate motherfucker who doesn't actually work"?
Just how sensitive are you and GP?
I've actually worked in food service, and a table telling me "we need some paper towels at our table" didn't trigger any negativity in me at all, nevermind the extreme PTSD sort of negativity that that sentence appears to trigger in you and GP.
TBH, if you're triggered by the phrase "We need some paper towels at this table", then you probably have ... some sort of condition?
It also suggests people work for the boss and satisfy the bosses needs. The boss is a leader and organizer, not a master, satisfying the needs of the project/team/company.
“The trash needs to be taken out. (who wants to | can you) take responsibility for getting it done?”
I had a boss who spoke like this: He was too afraid to communicate directly, so everything was implied.
Instead of saying "I'm assigning X task to you" we'd have to play a game where he'd say "X is really important and it needs to be done". Then you had to ask 20 questions to extract the actual ask from him:
"Okay great, should I do it"
"If you want, that would be great"
"Cool, I can do it. Is it the highest priority or can it wait?"
"Well it's very important, but I don't want to interfere with your other work."
"I'm working on task A with tasks B and C next in the queue. Where should I prioritize it?"
"Well it's very important. The stakeholders want it done soon."
"Okay, how soon? Is there a deadline?"
"I don't like to put deadlines on people, but they're very adamant that it gets done soon. It would be good if it was done soon"
And so on, until I had spent 15 minutes extracting enough clues about what he wanted. He thought he was being extra nice by never giving anything resembling an order, but it just created confusion for everyone and disappointment when we didn't perfectly read his mind.