[samlev]

I know PHP is horrible, but I use it, and so do thousands of other people.

Until there is something else where you can deploy a prototype by dragging a single file onto a server with a FTP program, then PHP is serving a purpose that no other language can meet.

So stop crying about how PHP is horrible; stop trying to fix what is obviously a broken language; make something else that can fit this need, and you will kill PHP.

The only reason why still PHP exists past hobbyists is because people who start businesses want a fast prototype, cheap hosting, and no fuss. It may not be ideal, secure, fast, scalable, maintainable, or anything else, but if it's making money in the shortest amount of time possible, with the lowest cost barriers, then it's a success.