[hanslovsky]

I have never had issues with terrible WLB, but I have also never sought out FAANG in SV (and never have been anywhere $1m+). The closest I've been was Biotech. I am not sure that I would trade my WLB for a much more stressful job that pays 2-3x what I make now. It could mean that my spouse "retire" from work and take care of the home and kids, while still maintaining the ability of hiring external help. In that case, the increase in work stress may be compensated by reduced stress of household management

[bradlys]

I wish I could take lower income jobs. Sadly, I cannot. The majority of single women in SV expect a minimum of $500k/yr income (if you intend to marry and have kids) regardless of what they earn. Similar woes now that I live in NYC.

They all want the $3m house, private school, and the full-time nanny. If you get lucky - maybe you find one who will compromise for a $2m house but she'll give up her job.

I hate this dating market tbh.

[johnnyanmac]

>The majority of single women in SV expect a minimum of $500k/yr income (if you intend to marry and have kids) regardless of what they earn.

Did you really fall for that horrible tiktok "trend"?

rerfame it this way: say you have a 500k income and 6 months of savings (so, 250k dollars that is easily accessible. even in some stupidly expensive 4K/month apartment with 4k expenses in everything else, we're talking 2.5 years of living expenses). How much would it cost you to make it your full time job to work out, and figure out how to make yourself more physically appealing? I include changes in diet in that 4k "other living expenses" (even a wasteful $100/day of meals is $3k in expenses. may as well invest in something like Factor or HelloFresh).

You don't even have to quit your job, but it sounds like it's the kind of job that drains you dry. So let's just use that savings on yourself while you still have "you" left. enroll in a bootcamp, make it your full time mission to go out everyday and move around, find a good tailor to get some good semi-formal and formal clothes for you, find some new non-tech interests that let you tell more casual stories, maybe even invest in a life coach and figure out what you are(n't) doing that is(n't) helping. Someone with that income has the money to do all of this very comfortably.

There are way too many "studs" making ends meet on under 70k in high CoL areas to make me feel like someone making 500k can't do anything else to attract a mate. If it's that important, make use of that money you earned through sweat and tears and better yourself. I don't even think you need to change this much (if you're more into nerdy stuff, just find some good tabletop meetups or comic book clubs. You're in NYC you probably have any kind of esoteric social gathering I can name), but clearly there are some deep seeded mindsets or perceptions to correct if this is what you really think.

I'm not going to tell you to accept your body because I don't know you. But if you don't accept it, change it.

[bradlys]

I’ve already done all this stuff around physical appearance. It hasn’t helped.

I’m facially ugly, short, and mixed race. These are all factors that single women utterly despise in our dating market.

I’ve talked to a lot of women btw. My talking points are from a lot of experience. I think many men here have not spent much time on the dating market in any recent time.

[ApolloRising]

That's not even remotely true. Not sure where you are dating but there are tons of quality women out there not like that.

[mvncleaninst]

Have you ever considered that it isn't them, it's just your own perspective and boundaries?