[Elvie]

Exactly, I want a pair of functional jeans, not too skinny, not stupid flared with handy pockets for phone, keys, wallet

I do not want to go rummaging on niche shops or to buy online and have the faff of returning things that don't fit

[empyrrhicist]

Clearly you don't actually exist, or you're lying to yourself about your preferences /s

[Elvie]

?

[empyrrhicist]

The rest of the thread is basically assuming that people like you don't exist. It was sarcasm (thus the /s).