Ask HN: How to Be a Good Mentor?

[120bits]

Hi

I have been recently asked to mentor and this is my first time being a mentor. I have over 12+ years of software engineering experience and have fair share of life experiences that has taught lot of valuable lessons.

I wanted to know if you have any tips and guidelines and how should I be a better mentor.

Thanks.

[tomashidalgo]

It is difficult to give an accurate answer to these types of questions, but if I can recommend something, it is to focus on what YOU would have liked if you were in the position of the people you are going to mentor. There is a concept by the founders of airbnb that is, generate a 7 star experience, focus on not only making it fantastic, but that after your help you have literally changed their lives.

[clubm8]

earn respect rather than gatekeep access to whatever will lift them out of precarity and/or realize their dreams.

too many "mentors" are narcicists who want someone to fuel them with enough narcicistic supply to "earn" things like referrals to non-abusive companies/teams that should be freely given.

by this point, i look askance at formal mentorship -- just be an ally, a friend -- turn to he person next to you and speak like they're your brother or sister.

(yes, this means you can never "date" them -- so goddamn tired of people conflating that and networking)

[120bits]

Thank you! Great advise.

[clubm8]

> Thank you! Great advise.

And when I die, remember you'd have more of it if your lawyers were not so evil the idea of setting up a key escrow was off the table because of what they did last summer(s).

(Notice how I don't jump in to snarkily tell you it's "advice" because I can tell this is not your first language, and you're getting your point across so it would just distract, not educate? People like me are rare, and when we leave, it's more than just population that Appalachia loses.)