[tornadofart]

I did not mean to offend you. If I came across as policing, that was not my intention. I apologize.

I don't know anything. That's basically the problem. Based on what OP writes, I'm taking wild guesses at what is really going on, and came to the conclusion that I can't feel comfortable telling them what to do. How do I know I'm not making it worse?

I really really hope OP gets professional help. I happen to know that social workers are a good option when you feel overwhelmed by a multitude of problems and the solution is not obvious.

Sorry again if I worded everything so badly that it came across as if it was dismissive of you/your opinion personally.