[elteto]

On point 3, I've never met a parent (at least a first time parent) who knew exactly what having a child would be like. I don't know that people can have a life style that "fits" children without having them. Of course, with such a subjective topic I'm sure I'm bound to be mistaken.

In my experience, the original excitement and expectation fade away slowly after birth and is replaced by paternal/maternal love, as well as different excitement and expectations. Then over a longer time, you start understanding how profoundly your life is being reordered and how you've become a different person, for both the positive and negative. No one can know this a priori.

[xyzelement]

This resonates. For me personally, having kids has been amazing both because of the direct benefits in joy and love and fun, and because the challenging aspects of having kids are the challenges that can make you grow as a person.

Probably different for everyone but for me the kid-driven growth areas are time management/prioritization and patience. Having kids forced me to prioritize how I spend my time in a way that has made me more effective in life because while I have fewer flexible hours, I am putting them to much more intentional use. And learning how to speak kindly and patiently to a toddler who is being difficult has made me much better in a slew of professional and personal types of interactions.