[desmosxxx]

We have 3 kids and it was never as hard as you're describing, so that probably has something to do with people wanting to have more than one kid.

I don't want to overstep, but you guys are doing it wrong. Your wife sleeping 12 hours doesn't sound right to me. We took shifts, but my wife was going to bed very early (9pm) and waking up around 5 or 6pm and then I'd sleep. She did this so we had a solution that worked for both of us. If your wife is not willing to do that, then you should be swapping nights at the very least.

Your wife sleeping at midnight and waking up so late is not sharing the workload at all and is frankly abusive IMO. I'd also look into postpartum issues since sleeping 12 hours is not normal.

[refurb]

Meh.. couples just need to find what works for them. There is no one right approach.

I did nights for all my kids. Unlike my partner, I can fall asleep almost instantly, no matter when I'm woken up. My partner, if woken up at 3am, is up for the rest of the night.

So I did nights. Wake up, feed, change diaper, rock back to bed, fall asleep right away, then rinse and repeat 2 more times at 2-3 hr internals.

Though I was sleep deprived, it wasn't that bad and still went to work each day. My partner had the kid during the day, and it just worked for us.

[madaxe_again]

I dunno - single parents manage it somehow.

Probably doesn’t help that we live off-grid in total isolation, in a country where childminding doesn’t really exist, as most folks here have multi-generational households, so there’s no demand.

[desmosxxx]

We didn't have nearby family either so can understand how hard that is. Good news is it should start getting easier soon. Good luck man and demand some help if you're absolutely at your breaking point. Everyone needs sleep.