[chinchilla2020]

Divorce happens often and the rates are climbing. It makes sense to follow statistical guidelines.

"Who you marry" is not in your control. People change over the years. Marriage changes your spouse, and yourself. Some people realize what they actually want as they mature.

Most of the smartest, most thoughtful people in the world get divorced. They all thought they had control over marriage.

[em-bee]

the problem is that many get married blind. they have high expectations but ignore the tools to verify that these expectations will be met. they just hope for the best and think love will take care of the challenges. but checking your expectations takes a lot of self reflection and understanding of your own person, and consultation with your partner about your common expectations of life. pre marriage counseling is a good idea.

love alone is not enough, it's actually less important than common goals and a dedication to support each other. if love were a precondition to a happy marriage then arranged marriages (ignoring the downsides) would have had to all fail 100% of the time. when they don't fail it's because these people understand to care for each other and most likely were able to develop love for each other over time.

[xyzelement]

// "Who you marry" is not in your control.

There's a huge difference between "not at all" or "not fully" in my control. I can't guarantee my outcome, but I have deep influence over my chances.