[jnovek]

This is me as well. I’m not very good at memorizing things so I have to build a mental model of a system that I’m working in and extrapolate.

It gives me a lot of anxiety to be in that trough before it clicks.

[hurril]

Very much so. I've gotten better at simply dealing with the fact that I don't undertand wtf I'm doing, and to just accept that at the outset. Now, this is in no way unique and I'm no snowflake. But there's a definite cost.