[seventhtiger]

Apps did not just fail to help me meet someone. They really harmed my self esteem. Even when a match on an app becomes a real date, the lack of any context other than the app makes those dates really weird. "Could I have kids with this suspicious stranger from the Internet?" I could never be myself. Never had a second date through an app.

Met my SO after I had stopped looking for romance at a hobby club. In social and hobby contexts people can glimpse the breadth and depth of your personality. Others can vouch for you and speak well of you. You actually have something to talk about. It feels much more organic and not forced at all.

I challenge you to make 200-300 friends and acquaintances and not find a romantic relationship. Looking back, that's actually what I was doing, and somehow romance fell into my lap. We go married last year.

[geeksandfreaks]

How does an adult working a full time job even meet 200-300 people let alone become acquaintances/friends with them?

I find it a struggle to even become casual acquaintances with more than a handful of people a year.

[seventhtiger]

If your social life is this small, then simply the pool of candidates is so small. You need to expand how many people you meet by a lot. Only then you can start thinking about how to attract romance, how to approach, etc, which is all a lot easier if you just meet a lot of people.

[sokoloff]

I played adult rec league sports for many years. Ended up dating 5 people from that, 3 seriously, and married one of them. I’m sure I met many hundreds of people over that time, all while having a full-time job and while doing an activity I inherently enjoyed.

[treis]

I get this is how people meet but I never liked this dynamic. Most relationships end and it can make it weird for everyone else. Wish fewer people comingled their hobbies and dating life like this.

[donkeysquid]

How do you expect people to partner??

[treis]

Online dating, bars, or any other social activity that doesn't involve the same group over an extended period of time.

[seventhtiger]

Over 2 years, I attended once or twice weekly public speaking meetings. Became president of a club, VP of another, member of another (most are biweekly). Mentored and worked with dozens, met hundreds, spoke in front of thousands.

There are some very low resistance social graphs. Just travel them consistently.