[icky]

If you look at "sleep"'s response:

Dear Sir, You have found the right person to do the job. I am a representative of a company that has recently completed a large enterprise commercial project related to the development of a HaltLib.NET library that is meant specifically to solve the problem of interest to you, and I am ready to share my experiences and code. Note that our library works for a wide variety of programming languages, including, but not limited to, HTML, XML, PNG, CSV, SQL, BNF, Regular Expressions and even "Field=Value" .property file formats. I guarantee you maximally efficient and clean code on this project.

You'll note that he doesn't list any Turing-complete languages. (The implementation will almost certainly look like yours). :P