[danenania]

Another way to approach it rather than trying to socialize or make friends directly is to find one or two weekly activities you enjoy that involve a group or collaboration of some kind. Sports, exercise, and boardgames are common ones but it could be anything.

People tend to make friends naturally this way over time, but even if you don’t, at least you are doing something fun and developing a life independent of your partner.

[globular-toast]

Tried that. I can never be consistent with it; my mind resists it every time. One reason is my natural schedule never seems to align with society. For example, I like cycling, but I'm never going to make it to a Sunday ride at 9am. Another reason is I don't necessarily like the kind of people who are into geeky stuff. I find board game nerds and computer geeks tiresome and annoying. It's better to communicate with them over the internet, at home. I don't think one should have to force themselves to do something they don't want to do several times a week. Nobody else does that.

Instead of friends I rely on my mental health, my skills and the financial system for insurance. It would be a big mistake for me to let my health deteriorate, get married or quit my job, for example.

[danenania]

“Another reason is I don't necessarily like the kind of people who are into geeky stuff. I find board game nerds and computer geeks tiresome and annoying.”

Well my point is to find something you enjoy doing and not worry about liking or socializing with the other people there. You can find the others annoying and they can find you quiet and unfriendly at first, but if you keep going regularly there’s a decent chance you’ll click with some people eventually, even if it takes a year or more.

I get the motivation and timing issues though. There is definitely a hump to get over in establishing a new habit.