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by CBarkleyU
992 days ago
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Seek a therapist, ASAP. You're definitely not "stupid" stupid. I dont know you, but I know stupid people. Not one of them was this self-reflecting. And I don't mean that you're right about yourself --- only that you are willing to be reflecting on yourself. In any case, may I ask you what exactly you're expecting to get out of being smart? In my personal, academic & professional circle I'm usually regarded as "the smart guy" for reasons that I would definitely not classify myself as smart. I consider myself a fast learner, but with an absolutely garbage memory and an attention span of about 20 seconds. Not exactly traits that I would describe Einstein with. In any case, I'm writing this to say: I have never felt like this gave me any joy or reason to live? I enjoy what I enjoy and that's pretty sweet deal; sweet enough to ride it out. The only thing that makes me anxious is that my time is running out and there is so much shit I want to start, and then pause, and then procastinate, and then deep dive into again, and then stop, and then repeat. And my intelligence level really plays a very minor role in those things. In other words: If you were smarter, how would you enjoy life more? Would you do other things? Would your outlook on things that you are doing be so different, that you would enjoy them more? |
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Even I have a bad memory but am not a fast learner or quick thinker which I think are essential and a good indicator of "intelligence" and success. The other huge problem is, even for things I am interested in learning, I am not able to be consistent or am unable to properly learn it.
I am from a place where you need to be smart to have a decent life, there is no security net or other support. It's everyone for themselves. Regardless of that, I have had aspirations from when I was little that I want to fulfill but it seems I lack the intellect and all other qualities to accomplish them. So yes, if I was smarter, I would be much happier.