[Cthulhu_]

You're blaming one person's emotional and physical experience on two people for some reason. One thing that is important in a healthy marriage is that people's feelings vs their actions are separate entities, and that one person's feelings shouldn't affect someone else's in an unhealthy fashion (enmeshment). A panic attack is unhealthy and unhelpful - if there's a conflict, one party going into a panic will not resolve the conflict.

TL;DR, being able to stop a panic attack or otherwise unproductive emotional response is a great skill to have. If the other party takes that personal then that's something they need to work on themselves.