[nwellinghoff]

I don’t think this is the case for most men I know. If you are just looking for “hot” you can date almost indefinitely these days. Marriage is a partnership and with the cost of living these days it might not be wise to choose “hot works at starbucks” over “smart and can contribute to the family”

[corethree]

The majority of men place looks as the primary factor. Even for marriage.

For millions of years women have contributed only child care and house work to the family unit. For millions of years it is only men and the capability to hunt, strategize, use their strength to build shelter and farm that was critical to the survival of the family unit. Feminism and equal occupations is only a very recent phenomenon.

Therefore when it comes to marriage men are biologically inclined to not look at "capability" or intelligence as a big factor. Evolutionarily speaking men are driven primarily by the fertility of the woman and personality as a second factor. Make no mistake, It is fair and just to give women equal rights but our biology is not equipped to fully account for this new reality.

This female dating match maker with years of experience illustrates the preferences for both men utterly clearly:

https://youtu.be/pAF0Ebg48A0?si=SmECgNA0Tsv2Cu0c

Additionally most men cannot date "indefinitely". Statistics show among dating apps women are exclusively dating a small pool of high value men. The majority of men do not get very many matches.

Most of this is evident to most men. There are a few cases where this isn't evident:

1. You are a woman. Women tend not to be aware. This is the most likely scenario.

2. You are a high value man. Therefore you have an abundance of choices. Your reality is therefore different from most men.

3. You are a man and an exception to the rule. You are low value but you still value intelligence over looks. This is the least likely scenario.

[hfuyf65]

<< Additionally most men cannot date "indefinitely".

I followed the argument and was on the fence for most of it, but here I clearly disagree. This is one advantage for a male in a dating pool. He can absolutely date ( and sire children ) longer than women. I have an anecdote about it, but it is just that.

Now... women have a lot less time to find a suitable mate. Men can wait.. if they choose to do so.

[corethree]

Right but even in man's prime he has very few dating choices compared to much older women.

An average man in his prime on a dating app gets 20 matches for every 100 swipes.

A woman, even a below average woman can get 80 out of 100.

There is data on this: watch just the beginning of this video for a easy to digest summary: https://youtu.be/XZbApDoe45E?si=ze0X3Np3wMUVKP6Y

Additionally, nowadays you will find on dating apps even women past 40 still have abundant matches. This is a modern phenomenon though. In the past what you said is largely true but with dating apps the game has leaned heavily in favor of women on all fronts.

What's happening is the age group is just shifting. If the woman is in her 20s her age group is 20 to 30, if she's in her 40s it shifts to 40 to 60. As the pool for younger men closes an older pool opens up. Dating apps is what enables this as women can now find matches outside of local networks.

Actual fertility is a different story though.