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by ssanders82 1019 days ago
Nah, I've seen the lives of my friends who have kids. I'm happy for them, but my wife and I don't want that life. Sounds like having kids was the right choice for you, that's great, but don't preach at us.

We looked at the choices, and made ours. Don't tell me it was the wrong choice, without knowing literally anything about me or my wife. That's pretty patronizing.

2 comments

> That's pretty patronizing.

Let's be lenient, there is a whole cocktail of dont-abandon-your-child hormones in that brain.

If you believe that your choice is right, why are you so sensitive about it? I'm asking as a person who does not (yet) have kids myself.
I know a few couples that don't have children by choice. In small talk, they are constantly being asked how their children are doing, do they have any children, are they planning on having kids, etc.

Even when it's not meant to be judgmental, those kinds of questions can get old after a while. Then, add in the fact that the line of questioning often is judgmental and you'll frustrate even the most patient person.

It doesn't take an overly sensitive person to get frustrated by that. Hell, I got frustrated by the attitudes and questions, and I actually wanted (and now have) kids.

Well that tends to happen. People usually talk the most about things that are a big part of their life. So if someone wants to connect with you, they will inevitably try in certain point of life to ask if you have kids.

Nothing sinister here...

You're missing the point. Hopefully not willfully
I really genuinely don't see the point. Yeah, it gets old when people talk about kids and ask you about it (especially when you made a desicssion to not have them), but that does not hurt my feelings. Not in a way that I would have to go around telling them to "stop preaching" etc...

Everyone around me at around 28 years of age started having a kids and guess what: our coffee talks started to revolve around parenting quite a lot more...

Makes sense since it is literally the biggest experience/thing in life for them at the time. I don't care that much - I either join in or just wait a while for another topic.

> If you believe that your choice is right, why are you so sensitive about it?

Sensitive about it? I don't see where you get that impression from.