[plinkplonk]

"I have done like 9000 projects that I didn't finish, my fault."

This is fine, but that 'fault' needs fixing if you are to get anywhere in life. Effort put into a project without finishing it is mostly wasted.

Select one or two small projects that will provide some, even minimal, value to others(ideally along with teaching you something). Finish them. Put them online (github, hosted whatever). You can use your long commute to plan and think. This will help you when you try to find better work.