[kranke155]

Eton, where upper class boys are sent for a good part of their early life, has a strong connection to temporary homosexual connections, at least from the books I’ve read about the place.

There’s been arrests by teachers at Eton for the same reason. Child sexual abuse.

That’s all I know

[zozbot234]

> temporary homosexual connections

A.k.a. "don't drop the soap!". Let's call a spade a spade. What you're referring to is male-dominance-based rape culture in its clearest form.

[kranke155]

I don’t know that it involves rape, necessarily. From what I’ve read it sounds more like prison where horny men just make do. Eton and other boarding schools are where these kids live for many years.

[zozbot234]

> horny men just make do

Well yes, that's the whole point. In practice "make do" sex is all-too-likely to translate into abuse, driven by a mixture of sheer frustration (due to lack of the sought-after kind of sex partners) and a widespread culture based on physical domination within some toxic hierarchy of perceived masculinity. This is true both in prisons and elsewhere, e.g. in more general gender-segregated conditions as are common in some underdeveloped countries.

[nmz]

If make do sex translates to abuse then hook up culture is abuse culture.

Honestly, considering the criminal nature of rape, I thought people would be more careful throwing that word around but at this rate, if make do sex is rape, then of what use is the word rape, its become just another word for unsatisfying sex.

[developer93]

Especially as Eton formally uses pupils to "keep order"

[developer93]

The whole concept of boarding school is strange really, I can't image that the products of it are healthy & balanced.. Being away from your family for so long so young can't be a good thing, I would have thought.

[kranke155]

Having known a a few people who went through it then direct to Oxfridge, all it seems to lead into is a very preconceived notion that you’re smarter than other people because you went to “this school”. In fact I’ve found myself adding context and debating the opinions of some friends who clearly believe that because they went to Oxford/Eton they know everything there is to know about X. Actually they seem over intellectualised individuals, and not particularly smarter than the average pop just more well informed (there is a difference, they don’t necessarily have the critical thinking and creative expression of ie a Boston comedian). Proof of this is that Etonites aren’t in front of London startups innovating, they’re just funding them most of the time.

They all know each other as well and it’s a bit of a “blob” in terms of opinions. You hear from them the Telegraph or The Times type of opinions.

[sam_goody]

Boarding school was one of the best things that ever happened to me, and I have encouraged all my older sons (ages 14 - 20) to board.

There is a risk, and there are benefits - I keep an open dialogue with them about these issues, and am pretty convinced the risk is minimal.

[developer93]

Can you supply some suggestions for further reading? That makes a lot of sense, I've had the same nagging question for some years now. I would be more relaxed if I could just blame the aristos and it wasn't something innate to our culture...

[kranke155]

On Eton? The absolute best book I’ve read is The Importance of Being Eton by Nick Fraser.

The author himself is an Etonian and he explains it all from quite a critical point of view.

[isykt]

The idea that homosexuality (or heterosexuality, for that matter) is a permanent state the persists through everyone’s life not only ignores the existence of bisexuals but is also ahistorical and probably an artifact of certain societies needs for categorizing people. I suspect capitalism has something to do with it.

[morbia]

If by ahistorical you mean we do not conform to Greek and Roman era of homosexual activity, you have to keep in mind there were societal pressures at the time as well. I don't think you can take those eras as a gold standard of laissez-faire approach to sexuality.

For the record, I am gay guy and whilst I can identify an attractive woman, it is such a fleeting attraction I can't ever imagine mustering the activation energy to even try.

[omscs99]

Maybe it’s permanent for some and not for others? Either way, if you make the argument that it’s temporary, then people will push for stuff like conversion therapy

So ig because conversion therapy is harmful people make this premature conclusion that it’s permanent

[isykt]

People have all kinds of sex for all kinds of complex reasons, and have throughout history. You’re right that the repression of same sex attraction / expression / intercourse has led us to a place where “Born This Way!” Is the safest way to pose it.

I have met men who didn’t find other men attractive in any substantial way under their wives died. I have met gay men who married women because they fell in love with a certain woman, and sexual attraction resulted.

Prisons, gender segregated societies, and single gender schools are places where homosexual acts happen. It doesn’t really say much about the people themselves.

For some people, maybe most, attraction is “stable,” but whether that has something to do with their innate being or the conditions they live in, it’s hard to say.

As this point, personally, I see sexuality as less an identity or state and more of just an expression of what a person happens to desire over a certain period of time. Sexual desire isn’t all that different from hunger (the ASL signs for these are almost identical). A person could spend years of their life really into a certain set of foods, and then discover they’re into others. I used to hate mushrooms, now I love them. Hormones, environment, society… all of these impact “sexuality.”

[kranke155]

In normal (mixed gender situations) it seems quite stable.

I’m Bi myself and I don’t really follow.