[yumraj]

I hear you. In an ideal world I would have supported that.

Unfortunately in the current social media, the choice is between letting the kids wade in cesspool of crap and hope they find some lotuses, or support them in person till they are mature enough.

It’s a hard decision. I made the one above.

Edit: to clarify, if my kid ever comes to me as queer or whatever, I’ll make sure to find in-person connections that can help. Relying on social media still feels a little iffy. I’m really glad you were able to find meaningful connections. I have a feeling not everyone is as lucky as you.

[eitally]

I think it's important to differentiate social media with social networks. I would vigorously argue that Instagram & TikTok are media setup for doom scrolling, and almost nobody gets anything positive from the experience (unless they're selling something). On the other hand -- and perhaps I'm dating myself but I ran a dial-up BBS in the early 90s -- platforms that lend themselves to formation of meaningful relationships aren't all cesspools. I think it's important to have open conversations with one's children to assess what they need in their lives to become open-minded, rational, compassionate and helpful contributors to society, and that's impossible without cultivating the right relationships.

[yumraj]

I agree very much.

Unfortunately, the BBS and even forums of the past (and those that are alive today) were very focused and had less crap. I used to spend a lot of time on Slashdot and find very civil conversations even today in many focused forums (cars, AV equipment, coffee, DPReview, coding related etc etc) Reddit has some corners like thar.

[ED_Radish]

Discord now is very much like that if you stick to small-ish focused servers.

[thrashh]

I grew up in the early 2000s and us and other kids in middle school were watching beheading videos and/or porn.

Shit, I talk to other functioning adults in their 20s and 30s and they tell me they too watched the same garbage.

I think you might have rose tinted glasses on to be honest. The Internet was just as wild back then.

[lhoff]

Not the OP, I think the main difference between then an now is that the internet in the old days wasn’t designed to be addictive, todays social networks and other apps are. For me it’s not about the severity of the the content but the addictiveness.

I remember two of my classmates being addicted to World of Warcraft. They both got problems, one dropped out, one managed to turn around. Today every smartphone game and the social networks are at least as addictive as WoW. Some people will manage it but some won’t. I don’t know if OPs way to handle it would be the way I handled it but A I don’t have a better idea an B I don’t have kids (yet).

[zimmund]

Even if you block everything, they will find their way around it because having a social presence is very important for teenagers, even if you don't consider the content valuable. It's part of belonging and growing with their peers. Limiting access is probably a punishment ("tough love" if you want) but not a lesson. You can help them realize Instagram is full of crap and let them chose to avoid it. Kids are smarter than we think, and trusting them is more powerful than building walls (although it's true that it's more difficult and scary just trusting them).