[dang]

That's nicely put and of course I agree! but the problem is that such subtleties don't survive the statistics of a large forum. Even if 95% of readers get it, the 5% who don't are enough to derail the thread. Even if 95% of that 5% are willing to move on, that leaves 0.25% of readers triggered—more than enough to turn any thread into a flamewar.

It's similar to this dynamic that comes up fairly often:

  User: $group is so $pejorative
  Mod:  Please don't post slurs to HN
  User: But I'm one of $group

It's fine conversation in a cohesive context (e.g. friends over drinks), but that's precisely what a large forum like HN is not. That's why we have to moderate comments by effect, not intent [1], and that's why the burden is on commenters to disambiguate their intent [2]. The cost is a certain blandness [3], but the alternative is the end of HN as an interesting place.

[1] https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true&sor...

[2] https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true&que...

[3] https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true&que...