| The cause of ADHD has not been confirmed yet, but it is generally claimed to be related to dopamine production and uptake. I certainly had ADHD before being exposed to work environments. I've had my entire life. But it wasn't until I got my diagnosis, and started taking medication for it, that my square-peg of an existence began to fit in with the round-hole of reality. Work environments have nothing to do with it for me. In fact, I love my job. Here, my ADHD is something of a benefit. I've excelled at everything I have found enjoyable, and have no qualms with working insane crunch on the stuff I like. The key word there being like. If I don't like doing it, it's practically impossible for me to do. Or rather, if it's mundane or otherwise just "not interesting", I struggle. Strangely enough, I have an easier time accomplishing things I actively dislike doing. Not sure why. It's like my body is controlled by an autopilot gone rogue, and the medication helps me override it. For example, I have trouble going to the bathroom to take a piss. Not because of any phobia or anything. I just cant. Literally. I'll sit and squirm until I'm about to piss myself, and only then will I go to the bathroom. Been doing that since I was a little kid. One way around it is to trick myself somehow, like by putting on a podcast, even though I'll only hear like 20 seconds of it. Couldn't do that as a kid, tho. Back then, I would wait until it became physically painful, because only then would my rogue autopilot allow me to go piss. Doing laundry? Impossible. Vacuuming? No. Washing dishes? Well, now I have a dishwasher, but emptying it? No way. That is, unless I take my medication (methylphenidate). It doesn't make mundane things any less mundane. It's still boring to brush my teeth and piss. It just makes it possible. I didn't get my diagnosis until I was 28. My entire life I've been struggling with this. It's a primary factor in my lifelong battle with depression. It's lead me down a path of substance abuse — alcohol and cocaine in particular. Despite all of this, I still second-guess myself on whether I truly have ADHD. What if I'm just a drug addict, and I just tricked a psychiatrist into giving me those sweet sweet drugs? |