[jacknobody]

Social media is about me feeling that what I say matters. Of course my opinion doesn't matter but that's beside the point. I can be brought to feel that my opinion matters.

A worthwhile social activity is care for the needy. It actually generates love. No love is generated through social media.

The problem isn't in the technology - it's in our silly idea that there's something better in the world than loving, and being loved.

[JohnFen]

I agree. To put it another way, social media feeds the narcissist in each of us -- it's inward-focused -- when what we really need both as a society and individually to to be outward-focused.

Individuals naturally feel that they are the most important person in the world. We are all the heroes of our own stories, after all, and experientially, the universe literally seems to revolve around us. We'd be better off engaging in activities that remind us that none of that is actually the case, and caring for others is an obvious way to do that.

I think it's also why a very effective way of countering depression is to help others in a meaningful way.

[gottorf]

At the risk of sounding very much "kids these days", the concept of service seems to no longer be high on people's priorities. There's an art of making yourself better by making yourself small first and taking care of others.

[diarrhea]

That’s why I think the whole “self-care” and “love yourself” movement, if it can be called that, is actually subtly but genuinely dangerous.

[eastof]

I've seen many use these ideas as a justification to cut anyone out of their lives because they did work for them. Eventually, they lose all sense of purpose as they no longer have anyone to care for (and care for them) and they end up sinking even further into their depression.

[rootusrootus]

I don't think that sounds much like kids these days. If anything, it seems like kids are leaning back towards service now, and it's the older generations that are more cynical, nihilist, and dismissive of service as a priority. I say that as a Gen Xer.

[JohnFen]

I tend to agree, based on what I personally see. I wonder if part of the reason why is that they are entering a world in full crisis, and service toward others becomes an essential survival skill when dealing with crisis.

(I'm also a Gen-Xer)

[harlanji]

There's something Biblical about elders helping lift up the youth and dysfunctional about them continuing to compete as they are today. I can't speak for prior times, but it seems like for at least a generation or two each generation got more wealthy and invented the concept of retirement.

Karma doesn't always hit right away. The older generations who didn't lift up their kids will hit old age and be taken care of by someone--their poor/rightfully resentful kids or help hired with their kids' would-be inheritance.

There seems to be an assumption that the government is there to help and programs are in place, ready to save anyone who wants to be saved at the snap of a finger. As a person who's 5 years homeless (working, college educated) the only real help I get is from employers giving me opportunities to work for above minimum wage at times and customers who tip generously for good service.

There is a facet of service to others in a cash flow based religion, oddly enough. Allegedly even horses feel good after a day of hard work for a kind boss/keeper.

(/Millennial)

[JohnFen]

To be perfectly honest, I don't think that's a "kids these days" sort of thing. The concept of service has rarely been high on people's priorities outside of a major crisis or being part of a social group that values it highly and enforces it through peer pressure.

[r3trohack3r]

> Social media is about me feeling that what I say matters.

I agree with where you are coming from, but I'm not sure social media is actually about that. Making you feel like your content is important is only a goal in-so-much as it incentivizes you to create hype-able content. Social media is a hype engine designed to take randos on the internet and make them famous in front of other randos on the internet. If caring for the needy generates hype, that's what gets hyped. If pranks generate hype, that's what gets hyped. If twerking generates hype, thats what gets hyped.

It's about maximizing engagement to maximize monetization. And that monetization ends up getting balanced with social pressures, PR nightmares, political pressure, and legal pressure. We have a hype machine willing to promote anything that doesn't get moderated away.

I'd say social networking actually captured what you are talking about here. It's goal was to connect friends, families, communities, peers, etc. I've seen that level of connection, that level of community building, manifest in real-world love/kindness.

I don't see that happen on social media outside of people going against the grain and forcing social networking through social media. I have first-hand experience of how surprisingly difficult social networking on social media is; primarily because of the recommendation algorithms drowning out social networking content.

> The problem isn't in the technology

But the issue is the technology. Centralized social networking failed because of the technology. Centralized social networking is expensive. Being a "free proxy server" and archivist for the entire world's communication is a hard technical and financial problem to solve. It's also legally expensive to host a bunch of other people's content for free. And it's socially expensive, people get very upset about what other people say, and get mad at you for proxying that content.

Offering to let the entire world communicate through a single central "town square" for free just doesn't appear to be viable.

The result was that it stopped being about social networking. That entire class of product silently died.

Social networking is dead. What we have now is social media.

I expand on this here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37300826

[deafpolygon]

> Social networking is dead. What we have now is social media.

It hasn't been called social networking in a long time. It's always been "social media".

[thomastjeffery]

The real problem is introduced when your own opinion is optimized out.

Because of this behavior, one person's opinion can become self-replicating, because there is no distinction between consensus and copy.

This social pattern leaves us with a tiny number of narratives being blindly repeated instead of being thoughtfully confronted. The only one who benefits is the narrative itself.

[verisimi]

> No love is generated through social media.

Excellent - this expresses things so succinctly.