[memefrog]

>That the stable ABI you get on Linux requires you to bundle literally every dependency you have as if distros don't exist...

This is not true. If your target platform is a distribution then you can assume that distribution's guarantees hold true.

What you cannot do is target "GNU/Linux" broadly and assume every glibc-based system running on top of the Linux kernel has all the libraries you want to depend on.

Pick a platform and target it. That can be the kernel. That can be glibc+the kernel (hey look GNU/Linux really is useful terminology), that can be RHEL9 or it can be Debian xyz. But don't pick "Linux" then make assumptions about userspace.