[davmar]

oh paul, what a mental block have created for yourself! the first sentence of your essay is "i'm not very good at __". well of course you're not going to be a good speaker if you tell yourself that.

you speak to high-IQ crowds and you discuss complex ideas. you don't have to be a JFK public speaker, but having a "beginner's attitude" and spending a few hours with a public speaking coach could probably work wonders for you and your audiences.