[blueboo]

> If person A believes tasks like vacuuming need to occur weekly, and person B believes they need to occur bi-weekly then person B will either suffer an emotional tax for not having their expectations met or an EFT managing their preferred outcome with some form of nagging.

Oh dear. No two people have identical preferences across all household management tasks. Does that doom us to “emotional taxes” or “executive function theft”?

Of course not!! People who live together come to an agreement about the things that matter to them.

However this is easier said than done: It is not trivial to surface all these issues, and issues un-surfaced do indeed fall into the pathological dichotomy above.

To that end, (and in particular for working parents) I heartily recommend Fair Play by Eve Rodsky and the process it describes. It’s not easy to identify and mitigate all these deltas, and submitting to the books guidance mitigates the formidable cognitive load of the process.