That is the trivial part (and any tool even worth talking about already implements it).
The problem is things like “create this instance in parallel as a replacement for this one over here, then shut down the original, detach a volume from the original and attach it to the replacement then run command X on the replacement, stopping for manual intervention at any phase the running system reports it is running at reduced redundancy”.
This is not an atypical requirement for infrastructure as code beyond the basics, but none of the declarative tools come close to addressing it without a bucket load of external coordination.
You could have both: eg if resource Y depends on X, then you would just declare Y after X. Or you could do a "depends_on" directive like in TF.
That certainly doesn't sound like a dead end to me.