[scotch_drinker]

Just some random advice, consider some, all or none:

1. Eliminate the following words and phrases: So, Now, But, In my opinion, anything you might put in a text message to shorten it, 95% of all words that end in "ly". Tighten things up. Nouns and verbs build great sentences, adverbs and adjectives stink up the joint.

2. Show, don't tell. Don't tell me it's not going to be a post about pickups. Show me it's not.

3. Effective use of parenthetical phrases is hard. Read some David Foster Wallace for great examples. When you say "Ouch" then stick the rest of the sentence in a parenthetical, it actually loses some of the punch because instead of being orthogonal to the "Ouch", it's should be the punchline of your joke.

4. Use imagery to get your point across. Instead of saying that you'd get wasted, say "If some chic said that to me, I'd be headed for a three day bender that would make Ernest Hemingway look like a teetotaler." Paint the reader a picture.

5. I don't mind the "bro" style but it's going to put a lot of people off. It's very tricky to do well but don't let that stop you if you like it. Style is in the eye of the beholder. Just tighten things up a lot if you're going to use it.

6. Write it one day, proof and publish it the next. I find this to be terribly difficult. However, you'd be surprised how much better an essay gets with even a single revision. At the very least, write in the morning and publish in the afternoon.

[nkohari]

Also, contractions are written to replace the removed letters with an apostrophe, like this:

isn't

Not like this:

is'nt

To be honest, I'm wondering how it's possible that you've made it this far in life without knowing this. I'd understand if English isn't your first language, but the "bro" writing style suggests otherwise...

(Edit: "You" in this comment refers to the OP/post author, not to the author of the parent comment. Sorry about that.)

[nollidge]

Gonna have to disgree with #1. I think it's a giant myth that adverbs and adjectives are somehow bad. By all means be judicious in your use of them, but it's absolutely ridiculous to say they're categorically taboo or something. Same with So, Now, But - they can stink up the joint if they're every other sentence, but they can also help segue from one thought to the next, or (in the case of In my opinion) allow for some disagreement to your point.

Totally agree with #2: "Actually I will go even further and tell you that-" can be eliminated. "I will share a personal example with you." Well, just go ahead, I'll be able to follow along.

#6 is great, and I'd go one further and have someone you trust (or pay somebody to) proofread as well, especially if it's not your native language.

[scotch_drinker]

The problem with "they can stink up the joint" is that writing that relies on adverbs and adjectives does stink up the joint. Jazz musicians can break the rules because they both know the rules and understand the rules. Beginners can't break the rules because they don't know when broken rules are ok.

You have to learn how to write without adverbs and adjectives before you can know when to "be judicious in your use of them". Our natural inclination is to use them constantly (see, constantly). Learn how to write without them then the occasional use of them will strengthen and empower your writing.

[mmj48]

Excellent points, thank you. Point 6 is quite critical.

[iamgopal]

All. Thanks.