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by pdonis 5204 days ago
> You "could not" help her? That's not exactly true, is it? It's just that if you had, there would have been negative consequences for yourself, and so, you didn't.

I think the question isn't so much whether he could have tried to help her, as whether it would have done any good. The end result might well have been no improvement in her situation and a drastic worsening of his. In other words, negative consequences for him without any compensating positive consequences for her. In that situation, I'm not sure I would see much point in openly intervening.
2 comments
ClHans 5204 days ago
Perhaps the positive consequence could be the simple matter of having done something because it is right.

Perhaps he could look back on that period of time and reflect that, rather than watch it happen, he took action. Even if it accomplished nothing, he could at least say "I saw something wrong and I worked to right it."

What can he say now? "I saw something wrong, watched it happen, and vacationed in Europe until I felt better."

One of these is morally praiseworthy. The other is not.

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yajoe 5204 days ago
There is a lot of gray with this story. One IC vs many middle managers and a VP will never turn out well for the IC, especially at Microsoft. I don't know what I could have done. To whom would I have sounded the alarm?

What I did: "I told my manager," "realized it's a systemic problem," "I was a friend to someone who needed one," "I helped her leave and get her next job," and "I quit."

I made lemonade and enjoyed time in Europe. But I don't think there was a choice to fight.

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fpgeek 5204 days ago
I'd say helping her leave and get her next job was the best thing you could have done for her.

Even if someone had solved this particular crisis, it sounds like she wasn't going to thrive in this political environment anyway. At that point, leaving is the best choice and, all too often, people don't see that.

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white_devil 5202 days ago
> the question isn't so much whether he could have tried to help her, as whether it would have done any good.

How about letting her know what was up, thus preventing several months of intense stress and anguish followed by the eventual burn-out?

She deserved to know she was being used as some sleazy douchebag's pawn in his games of office-politics.

The OP claims he tries to be a good person and do what's right. Well, actions speak louder than words.

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