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by hypeit 1057 days ago
I have to admit as someone who enjoys WFH and would never work in an office again, that having co-workers like you is one of the main reasons. You should work on not relying so much on others. You may be benefiting from all that social "charging up", but you're taking that from the person on the other side of the conversation.

I work to make money, not to fill someone's social void. You'll be happier if you explore the root cause of your issue and get a little more comfortable with yourself.

6 comments

They're not referring to socializing with you, per se. I see this mistake made all the time in these discussions. Many just prefer to be around other people, myself included. They're not necessarily the caricature of the "overly social office mate that needs to find friends outside of work" that you are implying.

I really think you're overassuming your knowledge of the person you're responding to.

It’s not a mistake. People who are pro-WFH are so dogmatic about it (and so protective of their “right” to WFH) that they intentionally reduce anyone who prefers working in an office to somebody with no social life.
I guess it’s unsurprising that people without the social capacity to handle in office work would not have the social capacity to empathize with someone who prefers it.

Or more fairly, probably the inverse; plenty of WFHers wouldn’t be so derisive, we just don’t hear from them

That’s quite the generalization, and isn’t at all the typical pro-WFH attitude I see on HN.

I’m pro-WFH and have WFH-d since 2009 but I’d love to go to the office more, if the office were nice and in the right place.

Many of them bought homes way out in the boondocks assuming this covid remote crap would never end…
Yeah, and? That gives them the right to put down anyone who likes working in an office by calling them an anti-social loser?

Every decision has consequences.

Anybody who thought “covid remote crap would never end” is either way more optimistic or way more pessimistic than I am.

Totally agree. I really hate how so many people paint those who want 2019 normal office interaction back are somehow deeply flawed and just need to straighten up and fly right somehow.
I actually agree 100% with this perspective. Well said.
The root cause of my “issue” is I’m human and I’ve evolved to work with people face-to-face, not through a computer.

I’m not yearning for social interaction because I need a friend. I’ve got friends and they’re not at my job.

I’m yearning for the variety of different communication methods I have in a physical domain with the added bonus that I can change the environment I’m in to accommodate different tasks.

I mean, they can just as easily tell you to deal with in-person. This isn't a particularly useful contribution imo.
No offense to you, but this is why my next job will not be remote.
It’s fine to have preferences, it’s telling if you’ve reduced anyone who differs with yours into a mental disorder. Personally, I believe that your attitude is the bigger red flag.
Yet another case where capitalism incentivizes pathologizing natural human behavior. It is absolutely normal to want to talk to people, to chitchat, to be social for some portion of the half of your waking hours that you are getting stuff done. At least on assembly lines you can have some of that. WFH can be demonic.